Cartoon of Traak and Tracey

Testes and Tracey

During this crisis the government is dumbing-down so much of its communication with the public that it’s becoming childish. I’m convinced they’ll soon be issuing illustrated instruction booklets like the Biff and Chip schoolbooks by Roderick Hunt to teach the public about Test and Trace. If they were honest in it, it might read something like this: 

Testes and Tracey were given twelve billion pounds pocket money from their parents to spend on their lockdown holidays. They immediately shared this out with all their friends from the private school they attended. They decided to share the money according to who told the best story – the bigger the fib, the more money they got. One of the best stories came from Marcus Excel. He used to be a milk monitor at the school and he said he was an expert in keeping records of all his friends and what they did, especially when it came to consuming dairy products. Testes and Tracey were so impressed with this story they gave Marcus most of the money to monitor all the people who fell ill. Marcus scribbled a few names down on a sheet of paper he kept in his pocket but soon ran out of space so he wondered what to do next. He couldn’t find a solution to the space problem so despite the rules he decided to visit his family in the North of England for a week instead. 

Next Episode: Tracey tells Art Funk to retrain as an arms manufacturer.

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